blueberry muffins

Just when I thought that it wasn’t possible, I’ve outdone myself again.

Boom!

Yep. Blueberry muffins. And not just any old blueberry muffins, these are gluten-free, sugar-free and dairy-free and (here’s the kicker) they’re edible and super easy to make!

I got the idea for these muffins from here because a girl can only eat pancakes for so long. But I thought it needed a bit of fancying up. They’re really easy and they actually taste good and you can eat as many as you want…within reason.

Blueberry Muffins
2 bananas
2 eggs
1 bag frozen blueberries (defrosted)
3 tablespoons chia seeds
1 cup almond butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 400ยบ

Put all ingredients except blueberries into a blender or food processer and blend/cusinart until smooth. It works best if you put the eggs in first, you don’t want to make your appliances work too hard as they don’t seem to love that. When blended, pour batter into a large mixing bowl and mix in blueberries.

Pour batter into muffin tins. I used liners and an ice cream scoop so they were all even, but if perfect isn’t your thing a spoon and greased muffin pan would work just fine.

Bake for 12-15 minutes.

Enjoy!

my services

I’ve noticed recently that there is a definite need for some comedic relief in this blogosphere we call home and it got me thinking. Well, not just thinking, but thinking about how I could provide said comedic relief.

And I have a really good idea. Well, it isn’t that great. I’ve had it before. But no time like the present, right? So without further ado, I give you…

Think of this as a more realistic and hilarious version of “Dear Abby” which apparently now is Dear Abby’s freaking daughter. No, my daughter won’t answer the questions, I will.

Obviously my area of expertise is personal relationships but I know pretty much everything about everything. So you can email me, tweet me, whatever. Each Friday I’ll select a question and write a post about it. Get it?

If it does well, I’ll clearly need to start charging for my servies. Just so we’re all aware.

virgin diaries

Last night, while we were beside ourselves with the lack of television programming worth watching, we stumbled upon what could only be considered a weirdo goldmine. I have never seen more awkward shit in all of my days. For serious. The Virgin Diaries will make you wince, cover your face with a pillow, you may cry but you will surely laugh.

via & via

Let’s be clear, I’m not about to make fun of virgins, however I will mock the hell out of some seriously awkward people that make me feel very nervous while watching them. Now, onto the good stuff.

Mr & Mrs top left had never kissed before. Not each other, not other people. They decided, because they believed that they should, not to kiss until their wedding day in front of an audience. This went as you would expect, times a factor of a million in awkwardness. I have never seen something that makes me scream and cover my eyes like this. I’d say I was more afraid of this than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There was licking, and like fish kissing. It was horrible. You can watch it here but be warned.

Then we have Skippy on the bottom right who is a grown ass man that still lives with his mommy and has been collecting his belly button lint for 15 years. He takes his wing-mom to go trolling for women and is the most agressive guy ever. He met a girl at a party his friend threw so that maybe he could meet a girl and stop being so creepy. She came over to his [mother’s] house for their date. Wait…I’m confused, are we in high school? So they took their pizza and ate in awkward silence. But then, the big kicker, he had some guy come over and sing a song whilst Skippy tried to grab her boobs and she looked like she wanted to die. DIE. It was terrible. My prediction: Skippy will die a virgin.

There were five others on the show but meh, not as interesting. One 41-year-old woman who just “forgot” to ever have sex. A 32-year-old man who is terrified to have sex but is getting married in three days. A 33-year-old woman who is seriously holding a gun to her boyfriend’s head so that he’ll marry her because she’s beyond sexually frustrated. And two other girls that could very easily find love on a dating site.

I would personally file this under a show category like Teen Mom. The shows you watch and you’re instantly feeling better about your life.

love. love. love.

Walking in the park (Central Park to be exact) is one of my favorite things to do especially when it is beautiful outside. You never know what you’re going to stumble upon.

Sunday was one of those gorgeous days that was just begging for a walk in the park. And who am I to tell Sunday no? Obviously, I obliged.

central park love

When we stumbled upon these hearts, all at different parts of the same off-beaten path, I had to snap a few photos. Sometimes all we need is a sweet reminder that love is all we need.

Happy Wednesday, friends!