don’t angry eat a muffin

On Sunday I did something I haven’t done in a great many moons. I baked. Yes, I can bake. I’m not some kind of ditz you know.

I wanted to make banana bread but I didn’t have a loaf pan. Big shocker. My kitchen still leaves a lot to be desired. But let me tell you one thing, when you’re basically unemployed for two years you aren’t throwing your money down on kitchen supplies, okay?

So I did what any other genius would do. I made muffins. They turned out pretty well. So well that I ate one and burnt my mouth and proceeded washed it down with three more. How I don’t weight 300 pounds is beyond me.

{eggs/3 mashed bananas/vanilla/yogurt/vanilla/sugar/flour,salt,baking soda/butter}
{ingredients combined}
{batter into cups}
{all done}

Can you see where I stabbed them with the toothpick? Also, I didn’t take any pretty pictures because I was too busy woofing them down. Speaking of which, I just did that. I angry ate a muffin because West Elm is being a royal douchelord.

You know when you get bread or pasta stuck in your throat? That, my friends, is what happens when you angry eat a muffin. So take heed, and don’t be a jackhole like me and try to kill yourself over a rug.

recipe I used (adapted from Martha Stewart):

  • 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, at room temperature, plus more for pan
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups unbleached flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 3 mashed very ripe bananas
  • 1/4 cup plain (I used maple) yogurt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cupcake pan with the prettiest liners you can find; set aside. In an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, and beat to incorporate.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to the butter mixture, and mix until just combined. Add bananas, sour cream, and vanilla; mix to combine. Leave out the nuts because the middleman in the muffin delivery system is so unnecessary.
  3. Bake until a cake tester inserted into the center of a few muffins comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Let rest in pan for 0 minutes, then shove one in your mouth.


  1. says

    yum ooooo

    i thought i would make these. then i realized…i hate baking. and cooking.

    my future husband is fucked. he better be good in the kitchen. if you know what i mean.

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