how to write a blog post

You think I’m kidding right now, don’t you? It’s really easy to write a blog post, right? Clearly if it were so easy this post wouldn’t exist. So you can thank all those bloggers out there that are ridiculous right now for this.

When writing a blog post it is very important to do the following (write these down, I am not playing):
                1. Use Paragraphs
                2. Spell Check
                3. Learn Correct Punctuation (I’m especially talking to all you ‘editors’)

I cannot stress the importance of paragraphs. So you’re getting a ton of comments on your blog but they have nothing to do with what you wrote, which is actually about how your boyfriend broke up with you, but everyone thinks your nail polish is super cute? It’s probably because your post is one long ass, run-on sentence that should be several short paragraphs. Do you get it? Because you are driving me crazy.

 Seriously, when I see blogs posts that look like that I don’t even bother reading them.

I don’t get this spelling thing. Yes, we all make mistakes but when you keep making the same mistake (macaroon instead of macaron) I’m pretty sure you’re a dumbass.

Most of you do not know what an em dash is let alone how to properly use one. Stop it. Also, please learn how to use commas. The Grammar Girl can help you with this. A little trick, which isn’t always correct but is better than what you’re doing, is that you need a comma anyplace you’d naturally pause when speaking.

So when you went to the mall last week to look at dresses for your next outfit post and couldnt find a single thing that you liked cuz all the stores didnt have the size that you need because your a really weird fit would definitely benefit from some punctuation and use of the English language.

 In conclusion, I’d like to stress the fact that you are not an editor and you need to turn word verification off or I might just kill myself.