It’s been awhile since I dropped some truth bombs over here and the more I see, the more I have to say. I feel like, in this social media obsessed world we live in, everyone is in a constant fight to out-do one another. Out shop, out style, out happy, out pretty, etc. Guys, it’s not healthy.
Back in the infancy of Facebook, around 2007, I told one of my best friends that no one is happy as they seem on Facebook and I stand by that statement and it applies to instagram, twitter, vine, blogs, myspace, and whatever the hell other platforms you’re on.
I get it, as a blogger you want to be relevant and as a non-blogger you want a life that your favorite bloggers have but I suspect their lives aren’t what you think they are. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I try very, very hard here not to portray my life as a fairytale that is perfectly styled and tied up with a bow because guess what? Sometimes I get depressed and I cry and I’m unhappy. Am I wrong? No. Why? Because life isn’t perfect.
My apartment is mostly messy, especially now. I haven’t cooked in weeks. I haven’t “styled” a damn thing. I haven’t even dried my hair or put on makeup. The hardest thing I do all day is get dressed. Does this make me less of a person? A woman? A blogger? If it does, I’d like to opt of this blogosphere that’s created a very large demographic of women with the overwhelming need to be perfect all the time.
No, I didn’t grow up underprivileged but I’ve gone through a lot of things in my life. Some of which I don’t think I need to share on this blog. Not because I don’t want to share them, but because I don’t want people to pity me, because I don’t pity myself. This is the life I was given. To me, life is real. It’s about living it to the fullest with those that you love. It’s not about your apartment being perfect, or you being perfectly styled in the latest trends, or buying that amazing bag everyone has. Because at the end of the day, those are all just things. And yea, they make you happy, but only temporarily. There will always be a new amazing designer, and blogger and handbag and where does that leave you?
Someone is inevitably going to comment on this post and call me a self-righteous bitch or something but guess what? I care not. You know why? Because I’m dealing with real life. That’s what being sick does. It helps you to cut through the bullshit, so call me what you will, you’re only holding yourself back. Also, please note, no one is forcing you to read my blog or comment.
I love this! As someone who is just a reader of blogs, I do still have to remind myself of these things, and it is especially important for younger girls to read blog posts like these. Thanks for pointing this out, and best of luck in dealing with your real life issues!
You know what Christin? I am a new follower of yours and I absolutely LOVE how real you are. Life can be tough and you don’t try to gloss over that simple fact. We all have good days and bad days. I am by no means perfect and you don’t portray yourself as perfect either and that makes you WAY more relateable. So I just wanted to say thank you for being you and inspiring young women everywhere. You da best!!!! 🙂
Amen! I couldn’t agree with you more…
Well said! THANK YOU for writing this. It is so very relevant at the moment as we’ve all been side tracked and disconnected with what life really is about. We worry way too much about what’s on the surface so thanks for pointing out how ludicrous the internet universe sometimes can be 🙂
Well said, I agree. Sometimes I think all of our feeds show us the mythical land of rainbow and unicorns. And, I mean, sometimes I really dig rainbows and unicorns – they are fun, usually make me smile, and don’t often require me to clean up after then. But, more often then not, while I love to look at the pretty things people have/do/wear, they make me feel less happy about my own life. And while my life isn’t perfect (who’s is?!) it is my life and I am happy with it.
Also, my house is always a mess – part of the reason why I don’t ever post pictures of it on the blog.
Also, my sink is always full of dishes, my dog is crazy, and I rarely throw together a “cute” outfit. And… it’s been 90+ degrees every day for the past like 10, so makeup is reduced to eye liner and mascara.
Good hair? What’s that?
At any rate, I’m a new follower so I don’t know your story yet. But I pray that you will get well soon and I enjoy reading your blog! =) Have a sweet day.
Couldn’t have said it better! People think that blogs need to be all about perfect and happy things, but that’s so fake! Yes, I write about happy things and superficial shopping topics, but I also write about hardships and honest, real topics. I think that balance is the best way to go!
Preach.
I agree totally with all of this, you go glen coco
Truth. We all need this reminder. xoxo
Your blog is the kewlest blog on the block. But seriously. This is SO spot on. People need to just chill the F out, you knows? Your posts have inspired me more than you know, and the fact that I can call you a best friend IN REAL LIFE, is all the rainbows and unicorns I need 🙂
Thanks for being awesome, Christin! And I hope you’re feeling better — on the road to recovery! 🙂 We are all thinking good thoughts for you!
I agree with you. My life is pretty normal – others might call it bland because I don’t attend events or drink fancy drinks and eat out at restaurants all the time, but I really like my life. And I still post pics that aren’t perfect and that are just for me because I don’t really care if I get 30 likes on a photo or if only my family “likes” it. I wrote a post last thursday about materialism – I really think blogs leave people feeling really inadequate and it kind of sucks. Blogs are supposed to be inspiring, not deflating. Anyway, I am with ya sister. Xo.
I love this! It’s like “With a CH” unplugged!
But of course that there’s absolutely nothing wrong on not having the latest, or on not living to other’s expectations. Those who think like that (like you) are the ones I’m the most happy to have connected with because I know we share the same way of living and we appreciate what truly matters. Sharing pretty things (and acquiring them) is fun and they do make you happy, but of course they are not what matter the most in life. And of course our lives are not 100% perfect. I could tell you right now, that there has been a lot going on for me in the last year, but you know what? I decide to not be the victim, and I just stay positive and don’t let the downs get me completely. I just don’t see the point in sharing the bad when in fact I “try” not to focus on it, you know? We are all humans and I never expect other people’s lives to be perfect, and I can imagine everyone has their own thing going on, or maybe not now, but at some point I guess, because that’s life.
Love this post!! Really appreciate and agree with your thoughts. Hope you are on the road to recovery as well!
Cheers,
Jaclyn
http://www.sharingmysole.com
I love this post. I hope that you’re healing and feeling better every day.
life sucks. I am SOOO with you on this! Plus no credit card debit and happy relationships with friends, that’s what matters! XOXO
I love what Gaby wrote. And it’s so true! I think she had a conversation with herself about it and came to a decision to not try to be perfect and to just be happy with reality. So many people don’t even think about that stuff though. And are just buying whatever they think they should to keep up with the joneses of instagram.
Our generation is the first to navigate coming of age in your 20’s with social media. Social media that says you have to be perfect, because everyone has the perfect pinterest house, the SAME EXACT wedding, and the most amazing “hubby”! My life is far from perfect. It’s full of obstacles and challenges. But also good things. It’s real. I get that most people want to play up on the positive….and so do I! I can’t say my instagram isn’t full of positive stuff. Because it is. I don’t air my dirty laundry on the internet. But I also don’t care if I post a picture and there is a mess in the background. I just wish we all talked more about the expectations we put on ourselves from comparing ourselves to internet lives. This blog post is a start! Thanks for posting this. I love how honest you are on your blog. The number of blogs I read has dropped down quite significantly but I still read yours 3-4 times a week. 😉
Ps- I love mason jars. I own them. To drink out of. But if I see mason jars and burlap at one more wedding I’m going to scream!
♥
Love this. Life is real and the blogging world is less so. One of those matters in the long run and the other doesn’t. And the endless comparisons to each other only serve to disappoint.
On a lighter note, I’ve been toying with the idea of doing an “anti-blogger” home post, like “Hey, here is my apartment! Yes, that’s a dirty pile of laundry right next to those dozens of unframed prints. There is my boyfriend sitting on the couch playing video games with his feet on our not-perfectly-styled coffee table.” Because my life is not a magazine editorial or something “pin-able” and most people’s aren’t either.
xo
Erin
Truer words haven’t been spoken in a long time!!! I can totally relate to what you wrote and agree with you to a 100%!! I hope you get back on your feet soon!
All the best
Andrea
100% – thank you for keepingit real, sista!
Way to go, kid. Sometimes we can’t keep it tight and it all unfurls.
Anyway, messy is much more interesting than a fairy tale. It’s as hard as anything, but it’s worth it.
I LOVE that you have always been “REAL” as I only know you as a blogger…even before you told the world who you were… which I can relate to… as Kit from Fauxcuss back in the day. Life/blogging is much better without an alias or mask. 😉
Preach!! I read your blog mostly because you have such great hair, but your honesty is damn refreshing in this blogosphere full of glitter guides and cashmere covered cupcakes. I appreciate that type of blog too, but always turn to your blog for a shot of funny with a chaser of reality.
This was so great of you to post! It’s refreshing, honestly, that you shared this in the way you did. You know, I feel like I’ve been seeing a lot of these “bloggers lives aren’t perfect” and yet there is still a freaking styled photo attached. The “real” posts are styled too. So this was refreshing, and really honest.
As for the health thing, I hope you’re doing well and recovering. I had to have an unexpected surgery almost 2 months ago now and it’s scary. And then the bills, those are also scary. But you know what? I’m healthy now, and bills will get paid eventually. So what there are no new clothes/home stuff/ dinners out in my future? I don’t have the dreaded ‘C’ so all will be well.
Have a great weekend, and I do SO enjoy your blog!
Thanks for this post! And thanks for reminding us that the life on FB/blogs is not always the perfect one! Love you even more.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself and continue to live the majority of life OFF your computer (as I do!)
you’re the shiz.
xo The Egg
Well said! I couldn’t agree more about people’s lives looking perfect! I’m a true believer that we all have a mess somewhere in our homes and we don’t all walk around in heels every day. I totally agree about your facebook comment and it always makes me laugh when I see people’s posts. I rarely use my personal account any more because I feel like I don’t necessarily want to share my entire life on social media. Amazing post!
xo jen
Pearls & Lace
Thanks for being genuine. Somehow, I feel like this post was exactly what I (and probably tons of others) needed right about now. refreshing. Your blog is my absolute fave!
i visit your blog often but don’t usually comment. i think you’re a great lifestyle blogger and you mostly portray a life that is beautiful and well put together. your hair always looks great and your apartment is really classy. that is why it’s so refreshing to see you write a post that is a real portrayal of how real your life is. you may not want to share all of the details of what’s going on but i assure you that people will appreciate it if you decide to do it. we’re all going through shit, you know? sure it’s nice to have a clean apartment but sometimes you don’t and that’s okay. i don’t want to self promote here (but i will anyway, kinda) but i recently wrote a post about getting diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2012. i included pictures of myself in the hospital looking like the hottest mess out there. and yet people responded so positively and often shared their own personal health issues. honesty is a good thing. i’m curious about what happened to you (since i’m nosy) but if you don’t want to share, that’s cool. whatever it is, i hope you are doing well and stay strong. the apartment will get clean when you’re ready to clean it. just be healthy and the rest will follow.
So well said. I’ve recently unfollowed a lot of bloggers because I was just so sick of the whole outdo attitude. Life is not perfect. It is messy and crazy and sometimes not so fun. And the people that are real about that are those I connect with the most. Hope you’re recovering okay 🙂
Awesome post! No one wants to share pictures and stories about the really crappy days, the hairdo that was hideous or the outfit that no one told you made you look fat. Most bloggers/social media mavens want to be seen as “aspiration brands” regardless of whether that’s the truth.
YES. This is something I’ve been preaching for years too. I try to stay positive on my blog but I get my fair share of drama here and there. I used to blog about it, like “OMG guess what this bitch did to me!” But who needs to read that shit? Furthermore, why give some idiot the attention. But then when we stop blogging about the bad stuff, suddenly we’re “fake.”
I used to be friends with this girl (very briefly) who acted like a goddamn Martha Stewart on FB. OMG you’d have thought she had the perfect life, perfect kids, perfect husband. But I hung out with her everyday and saw that she had no control over her life and basically copied shit from other people. This is the age we live in. No one wants to keep it real anymore.
My life is a lot better now than it has been, but it ain’t no fairy tale. And I certainly don’t have a perfect kid, but I think I do a decent job conveying that, haha.
I think you’re rad and not once have I ever thought you were embellishing things. <3
Love this!
Great post. Your honesty is very refereshing. Hang in there!
Thank you so much for this! In the last year or so, I have started to weed out these ‘perfect’ bloggers that make me feel bad about myself for not living up to unrealistic standards and focus more on the ones who are more ‘real’. There’s much to be appreciated with people talented in styling on their blog – be it in fashion, interiors or photography – but there’s something to be said for striking that balance. Thank you for being one of those bloggers I can look to for your good eye and styling talent, but also for your realness.
As for those things that are really important in life, do take good care of yourself. I hope you are feeling back to your old self, or an even better, healthier version of that self, very soon!
Word.
-Becky
The Pumpkin Spot
You have a lovely blog! I agree, life is not about perfection, its about what is perfect for you! 🙂
TRUTH. my kids are adorable 100% of the time on instagram.
Stumbling across your blog was just what I needed today. What we see on instagram/facebook/vine/twitter/blogs/whatever is 10% of people’s lives. It’s always a relief when people at least acknowledge that, and don’t pretend all the other stuff isn’t happening behind the scenes.
My house is a nightmare because we just moved in, getting dressed consists of putting on a t-shirt and shorts to unpack boxes, and let’s not even discuss the medusa hair going on here, but social media doesn’t get that 10%. They get something nice to look at because sometimes I need that reminder that there’s still something kinda cool, even if it’s just something I see in passing.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and good times with those you love.