I’m a very strange creature. I get little to nothing, I mean nil, done when my boyfriend is home. When he’s out-of-town? I think I could possibly be the most productive person to have ever graced the world with her presence.
This weekend I:
• Got up early BOTH days. This is an extremely rare occurrence. In fact, it hasn’t happened since I started the 12 step program. Kidding. It hasn’t happened in at least 6 months.
• Cleaned the entire apartment. Come over and eat off my floor, I dare you. No need for a tetanus shot or kidney dialysis due to getting e Coli.
• Finally unpacked the last box of clothes that was sitting in the corner of the living room. I suppose we officially have “moved in”.
• Organized the entire kitchen and scrubbed everything.
• Cleaned the bathroom AND the grout in the shower. I should moonlight as a housekeeper. Meh, probably not.
• Only ate like 3 meals. That’s probably not so good and has nothing to do with my boyfriend but with the lack of food and my non-existent desire to leave the apartment.
• Placed a massive Fresh Direct order. I think I should mention something. Those Fresh Direct people must know I’m trying to get off crack (sugar) because they sent me 2 packs of romaine hearts and doubled my spinach order for free. Had I realized this before the delivery man left, I would have given it back to him. Too. much. lettuce.
• Organized my closet.
• Did 4 loads of laundry.
• And the most impressive of all time: made the bed for the first time since we’ve lived here. So in about 60 days. Please don’t tell my mother.
Try to top that. I dare you.